Dear Early Childhood Families,

I enjoy using these Ma Nishma communications to share about things I have been thinking about and connecting them to early childhood best practices and family education topics. Lately, my thoughts have been focusing on communication and how we, as adults, can best support the young children in our care.

So with that in mind, have you ever had the experience of your child saying no to something you have asked of them? I assume that you have experienced these types of power struggles, as they are very common with young children and something all parents (and teachers of young children, too!) need to manage.

Last year, I came across parenting expert Dr. Chelsey Hauge Zavaleta, and her post really caught my eye! She wrote:

Here's the hidden truth: Most of the time when we think we're giving clear directions, we're actually:

• Asking questions when we don't mean to

• Parenting from across the room

• Giving vague commands without support

• Using threatening language that triggers resistance

She suggests the key to getting cooperation isn't about being more strict or using stronger consequences. It's about changing how you, the adult, communicate and support your child through tasks. She goes on to share that when the adult changes how they give directions, they actually change their child's brain's response pattern. So instead of triggering their stress response, which leads to automatic "no," you're creating new neural pathways for cooperation. She asks us to remember that your child isn't giving you a hard time, but rather they are having a hard time. And, with the right support, they can learn to cooperate without constant battles.

So much food for thought, no? Would you like to read more about this? Here are some curated resources you might find interesting:

How to Give Effective Instructions from Child Mind Institute

How to Give Clear Directions from Backpack Connections

With appreciation for your partnership and wishes for a happy Hanukkah and a healthy New Year!

Abby Aloni, Head of Early Childhood